Christmas Music
by YamiPaladinofChaos
Summary: This... this was insane! Madness! Too terrible, so torturous that the sadist in Heero admired the technique, and wondered why no military had ever conceived this idea.


Disclaimer- I don't own Gundam Wing

AN: So it's not Christmas anymore...meh. I suppose you could say its in the same universe as my other Gundam Wing one-shots so far.

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Inside of a construction designated with the name, 'Shopping Mall', a lone man stood in the crowd, his left eye beginning to twitch with annoyance and repressed frustration, shaking with the effort of lasting one more torturous second with this... well, torture.

This... this was insane! Madness! Too terrible, so torturous that the sadist in Heero admired the technique, and wondered why no military had ever conceived this idea.

Now, Heero was immune to all forms of traditional torture, from water torture, to physical torture, to mental torture, to that one time with that purple dinosaur video... Heero shivered at the thought of that, but nothing Dr. J had come up with compared to this.

So, the ex-Gundam Pilot reacted in a manner instinctual to his training, and dealt with the problem with force. Namely, the force of his favorite pistol that he still kept handy after all these years.

BANG

The shot ran out clear, like thunder, easily overpowering the holiday noises and low roar of the mobs of shoppers and replacing them with a new sound that Heero Yuy was far more comfortable with.

The terrified screams of the masses as they ran, as Chaos and Fear whipped up a maelstrom of utter insanity. Yes, this was definitely familiar, and far more comforting.

A certified psychologist would recommend he check in with the 'nice men with a rather tight jacket'.

Now, normally, Heero was fairly reasonable and tolerant, but this... this was... an injustice, to quote Wufei. There was only so much even the ex-Gundam Pilot could take before he snapped.

The Prussian eyed man heard another machine creating that unholy racket, and swung his pistol over to it, locking it in his sights.

BANG

Heero smirked in satisfaction at the smoking wreck of the infernal machine that endlessly spouted that terrible sound that did what not even the worst tortures known to Heero before today could do. It drove him insane.

Alas however, another one kept creating the noise, easily within Heero's excellent hearing. For the first time, the 'Perfect Soldier' began to hate his excellent physique.

BANG

But he dearly loved his marksmanship. The ex-Gundam pilot cocked his head for a moment, before being relieved by the fact that the noise stopped.

Smirking again, Heero holstered his pistol and felt a large amount of satisfaction at the blissful-well, not silence, since everyone was screaming like the end of the world was here, again, but the absence of that accursed noise.

"Much better," The Prussian eyed man breathed softly.

"Thank you Heero," Duo Maxwell said gratefully, stepping up next to the Prussian eyed man "For once, I think I'm glad you always carry that gun around."

"No, you're just glad that it wasn't pointed at you, for once." Heero said pointedly, not looking at the braided man.

"True," Duo begrudgingly admitted.

"But wasn't that a little... extreme?" The blonde man next to him asked hesitantly.

Duo whirled on the Arab, eyes wide. "You have the patience of a saint Quatre, you know that. We've probably been here for almost an entire day, listening to that-that... sound, been dragged around a mall while listening to it too! How can you not be as frustrated!"

"It's not that bad Duo." Quatre Winner countered appealingly. "I mean, it is Christmas and that is what they should be doing."

Duo shook his head in disbelief, his braid whipping around a bit, and looked away. "How did we get roped into this..." Duo muttered to himself.

"Because Heero, you, and myself got dragged here by your wives and my sister," another voice interrupted from behind them, "And you just had to drag along the others."

"Well, I thought it would have been nice for us to go shopping together for the holidays!" Duo protested half-heartedly, "I didn't know it would be like this."

"No, you wanted the others to come so that you wouldn't get bored." Heero interrupted, still staring away from them, scanning the crowd for something, or rather, someone who was bound to be very irritated by this little _incident_.

"Enough. I think that the security is going to be a little angry with you, Heero." Trowa Barton murmured from his spot against the wall.

"Not to mention the Princess." Duo muttered, grinning at Heero. "You're a dead man this time."

The Chinese ebony haired man in the corner opposite Trowa snorted. "You fools, afraid of women!" Wufei Chang sneered.

"Have you seen that girl when she's mad?" Duo asked in consternation, but Wufei simply shrugged and looked away.

"Speaking of which, here she is now." Trowa interrupted tonelessly, but if one was sharp enough, they could detect a trace of amusement in his voice. The circus clown was staring into the Red Sea of the crowd, parting before a very pissed off Moses.

Now, while most of the crowd was running, and running fast to get away from the "crazy guy whose shooting everything", one very angry woman stormed over to him, dropping her holiday shopping bags and glaring with such vehement force that it made Heero quite proud of his wife.

"You're a dead man," Duo muttered in a singsong voice.

"Shut. Up. Duo." Heero growled out of the corner of his mouth, staring at the oncoming storm that was his wife.

"Heero Yuy, what the HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!" Relena Darlian Peacecraft Yuy roared angrily, stomping her foot and giving the impression of a raging bull, rather than the rather petite blonde she was. Still, Heero stood his ground, however foolhardy that decision may have been.

The ex-pilot looked at her for a moment, and then replied, "It was annoying me."

"Heero, its almost Christmas! What other kind of music would they play!" Relena shot back, glaring.

"Relena," Heero sighed, "I'll put up with a lot of things. But an entire month of non-stop Christmas music is where I draw the line!"

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AN: Written because non-stop holiday music was going to make ME do what Heero did. I mean really, play something else once in a while people! Anyways, thanks for reading, and a review would be a nice belated Christmas present, wink wink, nudge nudge.


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